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Title: Is Facebook Making Us Lonely?
‘Is Facebook Making Us Lonely?’ is an article by Stephen Marche that is reflective of how social media has impacted our lives and the way it has influenced human relationships. The article initially makes readers aware of the statistics about social media usage and how people lost friends over time on social media, actually making themselves lonely. The majority of social media users do not use social media right away or to build real-time human connections. In addition, the article also highlights the disruptive consequences of loneliness on physical and mental health, linking it with some severe diseases such as insomnia, depression, obesity and heart diseases. He mentions that interacting with the people through their pictures and posts while sitting behind the computers is not the actual social life ADDIN ZOTERO_ITEM CSL_CITATION {"citationID":"d431Nbte","properties":{"formattedCitation":"(Marche)","plainCitation":"(Marche)","noteIndex":0},"citationItems":[{"id":1443,"uris":["http://zotero.org/users/local/orkqtrjP/items/HC8ISBHK"],"uri":["http://zotero.org/users/local/orkqtrjP/items/HC8ISBHK"],"itemData":{"id":1443,"type":"article-journal","title":"Is Facebook making us lonely","container-title":"The Atlantic","page":"60-69","volume":"309","issue":"4","author":[{"family":"Marche","given":"Stephen"}],"issued":{"date-parts":[["2012"]]}}}],"schema":"https://github.com/citation-style-language/schema/raw/master/csl-citation.json"} (Marche). Giving an example of self-checkouts, he argues that we are using technology as a way to avoid real-time social interaction. These consequences are even harder than what they look like. Marche sounds logical throughout the article and also cites many articles supporting his argument. He also mentions many interesting points in this regard that helps one understand the influence of social media.
There are many other ways Facebook and other social media platforms let their users experience loneliness. Most of the people follow other people's lives rather than for interacting with them, they experience a sense of loneliness because it feels like everyone else is having a great time and living their lives without them. overusing social media can have many negative consequences as social media can have a skewed view on the true lives that people are living in relation to how one’s life is going on. Most people on social media are showing off their best times, their best pictures, their best events and so on. On the other hand, if one uses it to talk to people, keep in touch with friends from around the world and even make online friends (through fandoms, etc.), it can be a good way of actually dispelling loneliness. However, it can never replace the joy and experience of interacting with someone in real life. That said, if one spends all of their time online and never have contact with those around them, they may still feel lonely due to the lack of physical presence.
There are two problems with social media interactions. It is making some of the users more asocial. As in, reducing the occurrence of physical social contacts and thus reducing the need for, and thereby causing a lack of social skills for face to face contacts. It is making some of the users more antisocial ADDIN ZOTERO_ITEM CSL_CITATION {"citationID":"YzdVvVK3","properties":{"formattedCitation":"(Vaidhyanathan)","plainCitation":"(Vaidhyanathan)","noteIndex":0},"citationItems":[{"id":1444,"uris":["http://zotero.org/users/local/orkqtrjP/items/2YGRJ46A"],"uri":["http://zotero.org/users/local/orkqtrjP/items/2YGRJ46A"],"itemData":{"id":1444,"type":"book","title":"Antisocial media: How Facebook disconnects us and undermines democracy","publisher":"Oxford University Press","ISBN":"0-19-084116-8","author":[{"family":"Vaidhyanathan","given":"Siva"}],"issued":{"date-parts":[["2018"]]}}}],"schema":"https://github.com/citation-style-language/schema/raw/master/csl-citation.json"} (Vaidhyanathan). They say things to other people on social media that we would never say to them in person. People on social media are rude and all too often, feel free to leave snarky and hateful comments on posts and topics because they feel safe, being anonymous. Many people have been burned by this false sense of anonymity, especially politicians and employees everywhere.
In addition, through continuous interaction with people on social media, people unlearn traditional, ‘multi-layered’ social skills. Social media is about texting, sending icons, sharing edited pictures or clicking ‘like’ buttons. There are no non-verbal cues to learn, no verbal skills to train. Users no more understand that social media is not a free socialization space, it’s a business. They profit with users being online all the time. They use AI algorithms to track users’ behavior and feed their inbox with stuff you already like. This works well for ad agencies, but not for people, who end up isolated in their own cage of personal interests and bigotry. This is why so many teens are insecure about their looks or ‘boring’ lives, as they follow profiles that promote their own obsessions, reinforcing how far they are from what’s ‘cool’, ‘hot’ or ‘fun’ in their micro-world. Kids with low self-esteem, join groups of the same people, sharing the same negative views, never getting a different perspective. That’s how normal people become addicts, rapists, and school shooters. Social media lacks a ‘negative feedback’ loop that challenges people’s beliefs and helps them get a balance.
Social media is useful but one must not let them get addicted addicted to it. Social media websites were initially made to connect people with each other living far away. Owing to the applications like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat are a new addiction. People living a social media life are more involved in these sites rather than people sitting next to them. Social networking sites are used at a large scale where the users feel there is no point in meeting each other, even when they have to because they think they are already in touch. But the pleasures and joy of meeting someone in person than on social networking sites are completely elapsed. These sites were made so that people from faraway places can contact each other and also get to know new people. However, now the users have completely changed the idea they were made for and use them in a different way. In this way, it is understandable to say that social media is actually making us more and more anti-social ADDIN ZOTERO_ITEM CSL_CITATION {"citationID":"IYqTyd1Q","properties":{"formattedCitation":"(Twenge)","plainCitation":"(Twenge)","noteIndex":0},"citationItems":[{"id":1445,"uris":["http://zotero.org/users/local/orkqtrjP/items/AK2FKQZF"],"uri":["http://zotero.org/users/local/orkqtrjP/items/AK2FKQZF"],"itemData":{"id":1445,"type":"article-journal","title":"Does online social media lead to social connection or social disconnection?","container-title":"Journal of College and Character","page":"11-20","volume":"14","issue":"1","author":[{"family":"Twenge","given":"Jean M."}],"issued":{"date-parts":[["2013"]]}}}],"schema":"https://github.com/citation-style-language/schema/raw/master/csl-citation.json"} (Twenge).
Some of the reasons social media is different from socializing in real life are that one can take the time to craft a near-perfect catchy description of themselves that reels people in and amazes them. In normal socialization, one has to rely on their mind-mouth combination to work for themselves. In electronic socialization, people have time for repartees and comebacks. In conventional socialization, unless one has a quick mind, they don't have much time to impress people with comebacks. Through electronic socialization, one can show the best parts of themselves to the world and leave out the bad ones. Another major reason that makes social media destructive is, not using these sites to do something meaningful. Social media users often get under pressure to perform well in the virtual world, and that’s when they start creating meaningless negativity around them. When relations get intertwined with social media, they fall into space where the real social circle is pushed aside. Users end up doing things without considering the repercussions.
The use of social media also depends on users. Antisocial behavior implies those behaviors that cause harm to people and property. Asocial behaviors are those behaviors that indicate a lack of interest in socializing, which is what the question is referencing. It is often said that these behaviors often stem from the excessive use of social media. The rewards that come along with conventional face-to-face socializing like getting to know new people, impressing them can also be obtained by socializing with someone online.
To sum up, social media, email, texting, and the likes are a one-dimensional world that lack the necessary communication elements, for instance, gestures, body language, facial expressions, inflection, etc. It can never replace real time communication and socialization. How does one then interpret this flat world? Whatever way they choose to hear it. How many relationships came to an end due to misunderstood humor? Exploring the answers to these questions will help one better understand the ways social media makes one asocial or anti-social.
Works Cited
ADDIN ZOTERO_BIBL {"uncited":[],"omitted":[],"custom":[]} CSL_BIBLIOGRAPHY Marche, Stephen. “Is Facebook Making Us Lonely.” The Atlantic, vol. 309, no. 4, 2012, pp. 60–69.
Twenge, Jean M. “Does Online Social Media Lead to Social Connection or Social Disconnection?” Journal of College and Character, vol. 14, no. 1, 2013, pp. 11–20.
Vaidhyanathan, Siva. Antisocial Media: How Facebook Disconnects Us and Undermines Democracy. Oxford University Press, 2018.
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