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Reflective Project
Mate selection is a process in which an individual chooses a partner with whom he or she wants to form either a marriage bond or a long-term marriage-like relationship. In the process of mate selection, personal preference plays a major role however, several other structural influences also exist. The first and foremost social factor that plays a vital role in mate selection is social status. Although the social status description varies from culture to culture, yet males who are considered culturally successful, will be preferred as mating and marriage partners (Brackett 2). This is because it is a general perception that successful men can wield social influence and have control over the resources that females can use for themselves. This will ensure a feeling of a safe future. Additionally, several studies show that females prefer dominant males as their long-term partner. The reason for choosing dominant males is that in many cultures, dominant males are considered to be a source of protection from danger and are expected to able to provide high-quality food.
According to the social exchange theory, social behavior is influenced by the exchange process. The main aim of the exchange is to maximize the benefits while minimizing the cost. Therefore, every social relationship is made up of a certain give and take. Social exchange theory suggests that valuing the benefits and costs of every relationship determines our association with our peers. If an individual thinks that he or she can attain maximum benefit from their significant other, then they are more likely to continue the relationship.
Another factor that influences the mate selection process is the culture and ethnicities. In many cultures, it is preferred that people choose their mates within their groups (Cook 62). Specifically, in Indian culture people are forced to choose a partner that has the same social and racial status. The caste of an individual is considered an important factor while choosing a mate. In contrast, in Western culture, the rule of exogamy suggests that an individual must go outside the family to select partners. Thus, people belonging from Western culture tend to choose to mate outside their families. However, racial difference is also crucial to them in mate selection. Although, this trend is changing yet it is considered ideal that a white male chooses a white female and a black male chooses a black female as their significant other.
While discussing the mate selection process of the individuals in bi-cultural families,several different trends have been observed. Specifically, immigrants that are residing in the US are the ones that are more influenced by the social factors while selecting their mate for marriage. Individuals belonging to bi-cultural families are the ones that have to maintain a balance between their native culture and the culture of a country where they are living currently.
The author Jason Autin along with his fellow researchers conducted a study to determine the mate selection process across cultures. According to the author, Latina individuals residing in Mexico where family values matter the most, are less likely to date and choose partners for themselves on their own will (Nesteruk 42).
In many cases, parents are the ones involved in the mate selection process. The author Olena in her research paper, also highlighted that parental influence, gender roles and length of the residency are the factors upon which mates are selected by the individuals belonging to bi-cultural families (Olusola 57). However, one factor that is common in both bi-cultural and the residents of the US is choosing mates based on their social status. In many cultures, it is perceived that choosing a partner that can provide financial support is an ideal decision. As many immigrants faced difficulties while migrating to the US, they often influence their children’s mate selection by forcing them to indulge in a long-term relationship or marriage with a wealthy individual. Additionally, religion plays an important factor in mate selection as well. Typically, immigrants from India and Pakistan are bound to select a mate that belongs to the same religion as they are.
According to the social assimilation theory, assimilation is described as a linear process through which one group becomes similar to the other over time (Depalo 2). Thus, many immigrants are more open to choosing mates outside their native culture.
While reflecting on my experience, social factors influenced my mate selection as well. For me, personality is far more important than social status. However, my mate preference is based on my perspective that is highly influenced by the community where I used to live. According, to the structural-functional theory, a society is an interconnected complex system where each part works together to function as a whole. The community where I used to live was very connected with each other. Every community member used to interact with each other politely regardless of their different cultural backgrounds. Due to this reason, I never discriminated against people based on their ethnicities and thus I dated people regardless of their cultural background. My mate selection was based on the family values that I learned from the people of my community. So, I always choose people who are more connected to their family and respect their families. In the context of feminism, people associate feminism with a group of angry women trying to dominate men. However, in reality, feminism is a perspective that strives for equality between men and women. So being a feminist, I like to date people who do not discriminate against women. Man is a social animal and cannot live without interacting with other people. This interaction with other people greatly impacts the way we see society and thus also influences our mate selection process.
Works Cited
Brackett, Kimberly P. "Mate Selection." Encyclopedia of Family Studies (2016): 1-7.
Cook, Karen S., et al. "Social exchange theory." Handbook of social psychology. Springer, Dordrecht, 2013. 61-88.
Depalo, Domenico, Riccardo Faini, and Alessandra Venturini. "The social assimilation of immigrants." (2006).
Nesteruk, Olena, and Alexandra Gramescu. "Dating and mate selection among young adults from immigrant families." Marriage & Family Review 48.1 (2012): 40-58.
Olusola, Owagbemi Gabriel, and Elem Maduawuchi. "Appraisal of factors facilitating mate-selection among university under-graduates in Ondo state, Nigeria." European Journal of Research in Social Sciences Vol 3.4 (2015).
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