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Society and WE!
Charles Darwin propounded the most intriguing yet curious notion about the individual differences possessed by human beings. Even a slight contemplation brings us closer to the idea that each human even two identical twins demonstrate unique cognitive and behavioral patterns including their sensations, perceptions, preferences, outlooks, orientations, coping mechanisms, personality and behavioral ramifications—this is what makes them distinctive from others. How do we acquire these temperaments and attitudes? A simple yet compelling explanation was proposed by English Philosopher John Locke; human being, at the time of birth, is having an empty mind, which he termed as Tabula Rasa (blank slate)—this is all he has. With the passing time, this tabula rasa undergoes series of experiences with his environment and interpersonal interactions, which ultimately lead him to develop a dynamic and dominant personality.
In simple words, human being is the product of his genetics and society. In this paper, we would centralize our focus to society because society, as evident from the Locke’s ideas; is an excellent and powerful determinant of human personality—the set of cognitive and behavioral attributes. Now, proceeding towards the definition of “life” this point does not require further elaboration that life is unpredictably dynamic and ever-changing entity depending wholly upon the nature of experiences that we acquire from our belongings and other individuals of the society. Positive experiences undoubtedly lead to positive personality development whereas negative and undesirable experiences are potent enough to generate maladjustments.
This paper is concerned with the documentation of significance that “life experiences” pose to our personality and behavior—based on the interview from selected subject; one of my close relatives, Patricia. Although everyone undergoes some sort of experiences that assimilate, accommodate and mould our predefined cognitive schemas yet some experiences are exceptionally “super-colossal” in nature that make us entirely different person. The subject I interviewed was 20 years old female, who was doing quite well in her academics with an ambition to become a healthcare professional. She was an extrovert, always accompanying her friends and peers; her life was quite unimaginable without her friends and school fellows. She never resisted joining new people; social clubs and parties even if she did not feel physically well. She was a social creature in a true sense. In addition, she was an excellent eater and never bothered to take exercise to keep herself physically fit and never attended her body image factor deliberately as most of the females are typically concerned.
Soon she got shifted to another area, changed her school and again it was an exciting period for her as she scrounged for new people to make a social circle at relatively newer place. This was the period exactly when her life started taking an unusual pirouette. Experience that she got from her peer group and friends was contrary to her expectations. She started getting hateful commenting from her school fellows over her physical appearance including deformed body, unattractive looks and hilarious walking style. She was bullied when she get to café for eating something. Bullying was not only confined verbal expression but she was nearly banished from her peer group. These things kept on happening whole year in various forms.
These actions fell on her fragile mind like a thunder clap, as a result, her self confidence, self concept, self efficacy and even motivation for attending school and confronting people was shattered gravely. She started holding herself aloof, keeping herself refrained from social interactions and meeting even her close acquaintance. Her academic, social and mental functioning was deteriorated badly and she was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and a severe eating disorder called Bulimia Nervosa. The extrovert, open and fun loving girl was then overwhelmed by the fear of being evaluated, scrutinized and judged over even the way she takes breath. She was preoccupied with the feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, humiliation, and embarrassment.
Bulimia Nervosa is a psychological condition in which individual becomes excessively concerned with the body image but has uncontrolled eating habit. He usually eats larger amounts of food but after eating try to get rid of excessive calories by self-induced vomiting and laxatives. This condition is potentially damaging and life threatening because body becomes weak for not getting sufficient energy. Currently, she is unable to attend her school, and got failed in the previous academic year. She is undergoing psychological and psychopharmacological treatment—that is all she has now.
Her example makes the idea clear that social factors are potent enough to determine our personality and induce unwanted alterations aversively. Bullying is a serious issue affecting the mental health of many, leaving them alone, battling against their irrational preoccupations. Realizing the significance of social forces, we must use our words and actions wisely because it is not only the matter of words but other’s life.
Interview template
Hi, Hope you are feeling good now, can you give some of your time so that I could tell others than how serious consequences bullying might have?
Yes sure, I would like others to know this as well because others might be unaware of what bullying is and how devastating it might be.
Thank you Patricia, well, please tell me something about your premorbid personality. Did you like to study? What were your aims and how you embraced life?
Yes I wanted to be a doctor because I do not want others to suffer from pain and lingering sense of uncertainty. I attended school regularly because my friends and peers were all I had and I loved being with them; I partied; I laughed and never left any get-together even if I was unwell. I was happy; UMM… My life was happy, I was a happy eater!
When did you realize that school has become problematic for you?
Since my life was centered on my academics and socialization; I bothered not to consider my body getting fatter and that I am turning to be what others won’t accept. We had to change our residence; I left my school with a heavy heart but I was excited because new opportunities were in front of me, meeting new people has always been my favorite thing. But contrary to my expectations, I get the worst experience of my life there.
Oh that’s really bad. What happened to you? And how it impacted you?
It was the first day of school, in new class with new classmates. I introduced myself; they laughed. I said nothing; they laughed. I entered café and grabbed something to eat; they laughed. Soon their laughter turned to verbal abuse; they started commenting my physique and dressing. Whenever they saw me eating, they named me “churning cow” my life was so hard, I hated going to school.
That’s seriously commendable. How it impacted you? Certainly it is quite hard attending school with such circumstances, that’s really commendable.
I felt reluctant going school. My teachers complained, I told them everything but all in vain. They started threatening me. My self confidence was shattered. I felt anxious when leaving my home and when facing others’ glance. I started eating uncontrollably but I had to lose weight so I went for self induced vomiting after eating enough. I repeated this and now I lost control over it. Later my therapist renamed these conditions as social anxiety disorder and bulimia nervosa. This is what my peer did to me! I am a complete failure now.
I hope you will get to the path again, I wish you a very good luck and thank you for allowing me to ask you these bitter questions and sharing your life story with me. Take Care.
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