Intimate Relationships

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Intimate Relationships

Introduction

Relationships are an integral part of human life. No human is born without relationships and no person in the world lives without them. Relationships are needed for a happy life. They support you, care for you and help you out in times of need. A human can survive without relationships but their quality of life won’t be the same as a person with relationships (Titmuss).

The basis of any relationship is love; without love, nothing is possible. Every tas in this world requires love and passion to be continued. Love is the most profound emotion found on planet Earth. Although love is the basis of every true relationship, most people tend to search for this emotion in romantic relationships with a compatible partner. A suitable partner brings stability in your life, filling it with joy.

There are basically two kinds of relationships; man-made and God-made. God made relations are that kind of relationship that we bring with us in this world like parents, siblings, uncles aunts and cousins. These relations cannot be broken or changed even if we want to and will remain the same throughout a person’s life. However, man-made relations can be made, broken and amended on the will of people. These relationships include friends and life partners.

Discussion

Some people are very lucky in the case of relationships, whether romantic or non-romantic, man-made or God-made. They get the best of everything in relationships. Whereas there are some people who are not that much lucky (Bulmer). They get deceived by their own blood relations and do not get loyalty and compassion from the people around them, even if they provide 100% of their loyalty.

I have been through both phases. I have found some of the most loyal and caring people in life in the form of friends, colleagues, peers, classmates and most importantly parents. On the other hand, I have seen the worst in the form of relationships. I have been cheated, deceived and backstabbed by many people. Despite all this, I have never lost hope and have been moving forward with my life with hopes of bright future.

Experiences with True and Real Relationships in Africa

I am a girl who has moved from Africa to the United States of America, some years back. I was born and bred in Africa and moved here to pursue my higher studies. Apart from all the differences I have felt and experienced in this new country, was the nature of relationships. I had seen a totally different kind of bonding between the people from the place where I come from. When I moved to the United States of America, where I had to amend many concepts in my mind regarding many different things, I also had to change the definitions of relationships in my books.

I was born with the concept of loyalty, compassion and longevity. For me a relationship mean honesty and sincerity; at least this is what I saw and felt in the years I spent in Africa. I was always taught to be fair in relationships and never deceive anyone. I got this in my kink never to lie in any relationship and be truthful in every aspect of it. In Africa, I learned that the meaning of every relationship is and should be sincerity and honesty, nothing else.

Difficulties of Having a Genuine Relationship in the United States of America and How It Has Different From Those In Africa

Since I moved from Africa to America, I have to change many of my concepts and habits. Almost everything was changed in my life; the currency, the clothing, the food even the accent. My perception of many things also changed considerably about many things. These things mainly included the concepts that I had grown up with. One of the basic differences I found was in the handling of relationships.

In fact, I found it a little difficult to find some genuineness in the relationships. As I already told I had always learned throughout my childhood and growing year’s that relationships are based upon love, trust, sincerity and honesty. If these things are not present in a relationship, it’s of no use. There are only games that both people are playing with each other. This is what I exactly found here in USA; people were more interested in keeping relationship because they needed something from the other person, whether its money, sex, job or anything. People were more materialistic and only made relationships where they saw their own benefit. Anything like emotions, feelings, honesty, truth and sincerity was completely absent.

How Hard It Has Been For Me to Find Genuine Relationships in the United States of America and How I Have Been Able To Cope-Up With This in A Positive Manner

One of the very important and bright aspects of my personality (at least I feel so) that I am a very positive person. I find an aspect of positivity in everything, no matter how bad it is or how impossible it seems. I also applied the same in my relationships. Although I had been cheated and deceived many times, I never lost hope. I was always satisfied that at least I have done the right thing with the other person. My conscious was always satisfied.

After a person cheats me or backstabs me, I always move on with a smile, because I know, this is the best they could give. And the best I could give them is always my sincerity and honesty. These are my core values, which I am proud of, which will never change, no matter how bad people I meet in my life.

How The Understanding of Relationships Stemmed from the Understanding of My Own Parent’s Genuine Love

I had grown up with the very different meanings of relationships during my childhood. I had always taken the definitions of relationships as sincerity, honesty, trust and compassion. I was also taught by my family, my society and the people that it is useless to be in a relationship if you are not loyal to the other person.

Most of the contribution to the development of my concepts, especially regarding the relationships has been done, my parents. They never verbally taught me how to do different things, one of which was handling relationships, but they showed me through their example. I also learned the true relationship from them. One of the most exemplary couples that I had ever seen was my parents. I have never seen such bonding between any couple that I have seen between them. I never saw them fighting, even arguing over anything. My dad never lied to my mom, about anything and always stayed loyal to her. They showed me practically what the true meaning of love is and how a relationship is carried on (Gottman). I learned from them how to stand with each other, and support your partner, even in the toughest of times.

How and Why Genuine Relationships Are Important For This Generation

I have badly felt that recent generations do not know the true meanings of relationships. They have no idea how beautiful the word “relationship” is, whether it is a romantic relationship or a non-romantic one. The only thing that the current generations know is that how to make a relationship on the basis of benefit; where there is a benefit, there should be a relationship, if the person is not giving you any sort of benefit you should leave them. This is the worst approach and needs to be changed immediately.

I feel the need to teach our children and juniors that relationships are not trade. Any sort of relationship should not be treated as a business agreement, instead there should be compassion in it. Only then a relationship can work out. It is extremely important for the younger generations to learn about the importance of love and empathy and how to handle relationships even when it is at its most rocky stages. I understand that in the current times of greed and materialism, it is very difficult to make them realize the true worth or relationships to people, especially to the upcoming generations the least we could do is try.

Conclusion

In the end, I would like to conclude that no matter how many ups and downs come in your life, you should never lose hope and keep moving forward in your life. You should always stay positive in life, and always have faith that there is something good around the corner. One pad phase of life or one bad chapter does not mean that whole life is bad. Today’s generation may be unaware of the importance of relationships in their lives but it needs to be made them realized. The meaning and nature of relationships may be different in different geographical regions according to the societies and the development of countries but the basis of it will always remain the same; true love.

Works Cited

Bulmer, Martin. The social basis of community care (routledge revivals). Routledge, 2015.

Gottman, John Mordechai, and Nan Silver. The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country's foremost relationship expert. Harmony, 2015.

Titmuss, Richard. The gift relationship (reissue): From human blood to social policy. Policy Press, 2018.