Essay 3: More Argument And Evaluation!

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Title: Evaluation Essay

Topic: It’s 2016. Why are men still paying for women on dates?

We have entered the world in which everyone takes pride in being a healthy part of society. Things are different, compared to the past. Opportunities at present are knocking on the doors of everyone, irrespective of their gender. Unlike the conservative states, we are living in a country that offers no differentiation in terms of opportunities and sexual preferences. What it lefts upon us all? As Lever (et. al) argues that since we have everything wide open in front of us all, therefore we need to grab the best one out of them ADDIN ZOTERO_ITEM CSL_CITATION {"citationID":"khjUvS8H","properties":{"formattedCitation":"(Lever et al.)","plainCitation":"(Lever et al.)","noteIndex":0},"citationItems":[{"id":690,"uris":["http://zotero.org/users/local/s8f0QVnP/items/P99C36NW"],"uri":["http://zotero.org/users/local/s8f0QVnP/items/P99C36NW"],"itemData":{"id":690,"type":"article-journal","title":"Who pays for dates? Following versus challenging gender norms","container-title":"Sage Open","page":"2158244015613107","volume":"5","issue":"4","source":"Google Scholar","title-short":"Who pays for dates?","author":[{"family":"Lever","given":"Janet"},{"family":"Frederick","given":"David A."},{"family":"Hertz","given":"Rosanna"}],"issued":{"date-parts":[["2015"]]}}}],"schema":"https://github.com/citation-style-language/schema/raw/master/csl-citation.json"} (Lever et al.). This is where we need to transform our ideals for a perfect dating plan.

There are some other reasons that need elaboration before proceeding toward the reflection of the work mentioned above. The society we live in is different. There are same-sex marriages, people are dating with the same sex people, and people are paying for having a perfect date, etc. This all is happening in the same environment, where still we are mingled in who must pay for a date or not. These reasons suggest that for keeping a positive and a healthier relation intact we must focus on some natural things rather focusing on the material things as like money etc. As Siegel argues that material basis ruins relations ADDIN ZOTERO_ITEM CSL_CITATION {"citationID":"76I8VMOk","properties":{"formattedCitation":"(Siegel)","plainCitation":"(Siegel)","noteIndex":0},"citationItems":[{"id":693,"uris":["http://zotero.org/users/local/s8f0QVnP/items/KY2KDIYG"],"uri":["http://zotero.org/users/local/s8f0QVnP/items/KY2KDIYG"],"itemData":{"id":693,"type":"book","title":"The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are","publisher":"Guilford Publications","source":"Google Scholar","title-short":"The developing mind","author":[{"family":"Siegel","given":"Daniel J."}],"issued":{"date-parts":[["2015"]]}}}],"schema":"https://github.com/citation-style-language/schema/raw/master/csl-citation.json"} (Siegel). This suggests that if the relations have been measured in length with the worldly attributes, they might come down crashing. This is what has been observable in most of the cases. This perspective shared by Alfie Kohn presents a totally different nature of the relations. The women have been presented as caring for who pays for the dates, just for the reasons because they want themselves seen as dependent. This dependence here is emotional that gives at first the impression of material dependence (which for sure can invite differences in opinions).

Since the author has substantiated the opinion, based on a survey; it suggests that till today there exist some norms which are trying to keep the couple relation norm based. This study has also overshadowed the opinions that equality has taken over every facet of the relationship. Why the results still are so natural? The reason behind is the urge of women to have love, which is the instinct of her made up there somewhere. There are believes that women must compensate every expense with their partners, but it again takes out the real sense from a relation. This opinion also suggests that if a man is paying for the expenses, it lowers the chances of the relation being material. It tends the women to think that sill yet they are worthy to have a relation with. What this work also suggests is that nature has never based the relations on a material basis. The people who find love in a material sense falls apart. If a woman is willing to be financially dependent on someone, it shows that a true sense in relation is prevailing.

This opinion also mentions that if there are people who believe that if a male is paying for the expenses of the lunch or that of the date, it shows an unequal relation. This inequality refereed by someone appears giving a false sense to any relation. Again, this false sense has been depicted prevailing based on the material relations. The author then takes the debate over to the maternal life, which shows that nothing affects the relationship if there is an inequality inside the home. There again a sense of healthy relation seems prevailing, in which the dependence remains a variable. Sometimes a male has been observed fulfilling the duties of a female and vice versa. But there is another case that has been referred by the author which is the dates among the adults. The adults who are planning just to have a good time for the sake of replenishing themselves must split the bills. In this case, the relationship is flawed and is just of the temporary nature. Here splitting the bill, by all way is justifiable.

Considering the debate presented by the writer it appears that the writer needs to assert some values that had been part of the culture once. The women have always found them comfortable in such roles. I agree with what the writer has presented. It shows that still, we can manage to live on with some inherent values of ours. These values benefit the males in general and the females in particular. For females, they are able to preserve their feelings that they have always wished for. For males, it satisfies their sense of domination. As McLaren suggests that if the women are been taken care of, has been provided with the essentials and is regarded in the true sense, she can make the life of the person joyful ADDIN ZOTERO_ITEM CSL_CITATION {"citationID":"xUDuSfSN","properties":{"formattedCitation":"(McLaren)","plainCitation":"(McLaren)","noteIndex":0},"citationItems":[{"id":696,"uris":["http://zotero.org/users/local/s8f0QVnP/items/2PD6DQCG"],"uri":["http://zotero.org/users/local/s8f0QVnP/items/2PD6DQCG"],"itemData":{"id":696,"type":"article-journal","title":"Falling in love with romantic ideals: women in relationships with child molesters","container-title":"Culture, health & sexuality","page":"143–155","volume":"18","issue":"2","source":"Google Scholar","title-short":"Falling in love with romantic ideals","author":[{"family":"McLaren","given":"Helen"}],"issued":{"date-parts":[["2016"]]}}}],"schema":"https://github.com/citation-style-language/schema/raw/master/csl-citation.json"} (McLaren). It shows that still there are some feelings that are different from the ideas what feminists have presented to this world. It also shows the limits of some flawed concepts that are been circulated by the feminist's circles. Although I am not the critic of the feminists the feminists can never change a relation which is somewhere in the hearts and minds of the people. There are some ways in which Men’s want their women to be, and similarly, there are some manners in which women want themselves to be treated.

Works Cited:

ADDIN ZOTERO_BIBL {"uncited":[],"omitted":[],"custom":[]} CSL_BIBLIOGRAPHY Lever, Janet, et al. “Who Pays for Dates? Following versus Challenging Gender Norms.” Sage Open, vol. 5, no. 4, 2015, p. 2158244015613107.

McLaren, Helen. “Falling in Love with Romantic Ideals: Women in Relationships with Child Molesters.” Culture, Health & Sexuality, vol. 18, no. 2, 2016, pp. 143–155.

Siegel, Daniel J. The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. Guilford Publications, 2015.