What characteristics are associated with a successful marriage?
Author
Institutional Affiliations
What Characteristics Are Associated with a Successful Marriage?
Marriage is a natural courting between two individuals and it requires the partners to have a satisfying relationship. To maintain a healthy and peaceful relationship, there is a need for proper understanding. According to research, an alarming ratio of 40-50 percent of marriages lead to divorce. It has been proven that the majority of these divorces are not because of physical abuse or addiction issues, however, the main reason people adopt for divorce is to get rid of that partnership that has been painful, tasteless or loveless for a long period. They also tend to search for a greater and pleasurable lifestyle that their unmarried friends are enjoying or want to test their luck to find another soulmate. In contrast, individuals can be amazed to find out that their problems or disappointments, nevertheless, exist even in an unmarried lifestyle or adopting a new life partner. They have the perception that with a new marriage and a new partner, their current problems will be solved. Unfortunately, in most cases, their problems still exist. Divorce is not the solution, otherwise; the issues would have disappeared with a new marriage. Research also shows that the rate of divorce is even higher for second and third marriages. Thus, divorce is not a sound and authentic way of avoiding personal life problems, rather it creates more problems in some cases. The impact of divorce has extreme implications for both people and society ADDIN ZOTERO_ITEM CSL_CITATION {"citationID":"KW9gAm0e","properties":{"formattedCitation":"(Lazarova, McNulty, & Semeniuk, 2015)","plainCitation":"(Lazarova, McNulty, & Semeniuk, 2015)","noteIndex":0},"citationItems":[{"id":510,"uris":["http://zotero.org/users/local/9Hfkg8Y0/items/7XSYX34S"],"uri":["http://zotero.org/users/local/9Hfkg8Y0/items/7XSYX34S"],"itemData":{"id":510,"type":"chapter","title":"Expatriate family narratives on international mobility: Key characteristics of the successful moveable family","container-title":"Work and family interface in the international career context","publisher":"Springer","page":"29-51","author":[{"family":"Lazarova","given":"Mila"},{"family":"McNulty","given":"Yvonne"},{"family":"Semeniuk","given":"Monica"}],"issued":{"date-parts":[["2015"]]}}}],"schema":"https://github.com/citation-style-language/schema/raw/master/csl-citation.json"} (Lazarova, McNulty, & Semeniuk, 2015). Divorce creates several social and cultural issues. Divorce can push an individual to lose their major support and can cause short or long-term mental problems. It can also incite financial problems as according to a study, around 50 percent of the couples with kids are in poor financial conditions when they get a divorce. Similarly, the children of divorced parents have the possibility of having behavioral and emotional conditions.
Many people outline the success of marriages on many selective methods. According to some, a marriage is prosperous, when a married couple is satisfied with each other at present time, but many believe that a good marriage is when two individuals spend life together until their death. Some also think that after marriages couples find ways to live together with each other and avoid divorce at any cost. That is why the definition of a prosperous marriage depends upon the success of couples to find good traits in each other that can bind them with one another throughout their lives. Some certain theories and therapies define and explain successful marriages which include a theory of cognitive self-disclosure that states the idea of marital intimacy by increasing a couple’s relationship and family functioning. A couple gets predictability by being intimate with each other ADDIN ZOTERO_ITEM CSL_CITATION {"citationID":"xO0v2Rik","properties":{"formattedCitation":"(Leeuw, 2015)","plainCitation":"(Leeuw, 2015)","noteIndex":0},"citationItems":[{"id":511,"uris":["http://zotero.org/users/local/9Hfkg8Y0/items/AZMSJJC9"],"uri":["http://zotero.org/users/local/9Hfkg8Y0/items/AZMSJJC9"],"itemData":{"id":511,"type":"article-journal","title":"Making Marriages Work: Common Factors of Marriage Theories","author":[{"family":"Leeuw","given":"Jilynn"}],"issued":{"date-parts":[["2015"]]}}}],"schema":"https://github.com/citation-style-language/schema/raw/master/csl-citation.json"} (Leeuw, 2015). A triangular theory of love is another theory based on research that describes passion, intimacy, and commitment. Gottman method couples therapy is another theory that presents analyses of the differences in partner’s behaviors. For a marriage to be successful there are seven basic principles. These principles improve the love map of a person that is stored in the brain of partners which explains and focuses on the information about each other. A drastic change in this information and behavior may lead to some issues. The third characteristic of a successful marriage is fondness and admiration, which describes that the relationship between a couple is worthy of respect and honor. The next characteristic of best marriage is to turning of couples toward each other instead of turning away from each other. This aspect presents that married couples are emotionally connected and they support each other at the time of need. Another principle of a good marriage is influencing each other. Problems solving and approach to the problems in a smart way is also a reason for happy marriages. Different problem identification and approaches to those problems in a strategic way create a healthy environment for a couple. Overcoming any holdups is also related to healthy marriages, as the support of a spouse is the basic required to fulfill the dreams of a partner. Involvement in dialogues and practically completing any holdups will increase the stability of marriages. Sharing the life goals of each other in a relationship is yet another characteristic of healthy marriages. Deeper conversation and practically working together on the same goal can help in the achievement of mutual goals.
Another important theory of successful marriages is the usage of love during communication in a relationship. First of all, it was suggested that words of affirmation play an important role in marriages. The helping acts like doing laundry, grocery and shopping can promote love and understanding between couples. Buying gifts help in showing the love and worth of the spouse and is considered an important tool for improving the relationship of partners. Spending time together is another characteristic of a happy marriage. The fifth characteristic is physical touching, as it shows how much a couple wants each other and how much they want to stay together. Solution-oriented brief therapy primarily focusses on the things that be positively influential and promotion of relationship and how to work with those positive aspects to get good relationship results in life. This type of therapy alters the minds of couples to a rational way of thinking. It has been established that the identification of misconceptions between spouses and resolving them can be useful for healthy marriages ADDIN ZOTERO_ITEM CSL_CITATION {"citationID":"GlDxHa23","properties":{"formattedCitation":"(Vanover, 2016)","plainCitation":"(Vanover, 2016)","noteIndex":0},"citationItems":[{"id":513,"uris":["http://zotero.org/users/local/9Hfkg8Y0/items/X7Y2QABH"],"uri":["http://zotero.org/users/local/9Hfkg8Y0/items/X7Y2QABH"],"itemData":{"id":513,"type":"article-journal","title":"Important Factors in Marital Success and Satisfaction: Marriage Counselors’ Perspectives","author":[{"family":"Vanover","given":"Bradley"}],"issued":{"date-parts":[["2016"]]}}}],"schema":"https://github.com/citation-style-language/schema/raw/master/csl-citation.json"} (Vanover, 2016). Certain misconceptions and old school ideas like “human nature cannot be changed” have paved the way for divorce. By identifying and addressing these misconceptions, the negativity in marriages can be reduced significantly. Setting a goal can be helpful to accomplish the desire of staying focus and hold on to each other to achieve the desired targets. Both behavioral and mental boundaries should be defined for identifying and achieving the desired goals. It has also been described that examination of differences between the good and bad times is also necessary for a successful marriage. Behavior during good and bad times should be considered and then acting accordingly to address those problems will help in the promotion of healthy relationships.
Some sociologists also put lights over the pattern and ways of solving a particular problem by responding differently from already tried ways which could not solve the problem. A different approach to a particular problem can be helpful. As a whole in simple form the basic things to describe successful marriages and healthy relationships are Intimacy, Commitment, overcoming conflicts, Cognitive Self-Disclosure and honoring each other. Besides no relationship is without conflict, it is the response of individuals during conflictual times to resolve the situation. Also, the important thing to notice is that whether these interactions have any serious impacts on a relationship or not, as it describes the marriage success and satisfaction. Similarly, the age factor also plays a role in the success of marriages. Research has proved that marrying after the twenties has greater chances of survival than getting married in early and mid-twenties. Mindfulness is another factor to be considered that describes the success of marriages. Similarities between married couples can make it easier for spouses to get along. To find out the reason and characteristics of a healthy relationship some researches were performed that put lights on the factors that are not present in healthy relationships. For a relationship to be prosperous, along with necessary things, some factors should not be present.
During many studies, married couples were interrogated and they responded that relationships should not have an addiction, abuse, and infidelity. Threats from a partner can also have a negative influence on marriage life. Emotional integrity and the absence of mental illness can also be useful for a stable relationship. Selfishness and the absence of respects are also some of the bad factors for best relationships. The rigidity can also destroy a good relationship. Compromising and being elastic is important in relationships as in life there are multiple where the couple is faced with a certain situation that can be addressed with a cool mind and smart approach rather than forcing and trying to solve it inappropriately and improperly ADDIN ZOTERO_ITEM CSL_CITATION {"citationID":"bKFgS75c","properties":{"formattedCitation":"(Finkel, Cheung, Emery, Carswell, & Larson, 2015)","plainCitation":"(Finkel, Cheung, Emery, Carswell, & Larson, 2015)","noteIndex":0},"citationItems":[{"id":512,"uris":["http://zotero.org/users/local/9Hfkg8Y0/items/EWELXGNR"],"uri":["http://zotero.org/users/local/9Hfkg8Y0/items/EWELXGNR"],"itemData":{"id":512,"type":"article-journal","title":"The suffocation model: Why marriage in America is becoming an all-or-nothing institution","container-title":"Current Directions in Psychological Science","page":"238-244","volume":"24","issue":"3","author":[{"family":"Finkel","given":"Eli J."},{"family":"Cheung","given":"Elaine O."},{"family":"Emery","given":"Lydia F."},{"family":"Carswell","given":"Kathleen L."},{"family":"Larson","given":"Grace M."}],"issued":{"date-parts":[["2015"]]}}}],"schema":"https://github.com/citation-style-language/schema/raw/master/csl-citation.json"} (Finkel, Cheung, Emery, Carswell, & Larson, 2015). In conclusion, it is hard to find a perfect solution to overcome all the problems in marriages to perfection. Many books, theories, techniques, and therapies are introduced overtime for the solutions of problems in marriages, but still, it is difficult to say which method is best for the problems to solve through, because almost all these theories and therapies are somewhat similar. However, by studying and attempting to understand the characteristics of successful marriages some important common traits that are present and proved to have a great and positive impact over successful marital relationships.
References
ADDIN ZOTERO_BIBL {"uncited":[],"omitted":[],"custom":[]} CSL_BIBLIOGRAPHY Finkel, E. J., Cheung, E. O., Emery, L. F., Carswell, K. L., & Larson, G. M. (2015). The suffocation model: Why marriage in America is becoming an all-or-nothing institution. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 24(3), 238–244.
Lazarova, M., McNulty, Y., & Semeniuk, M. (2015). Expatriate family narratives on international mobility: Key characteristics of the successful moveable family. Work and family interface in the international career context (pp. 29–51). Springer.
Leeuw, J. (2015). Making Marriages Work: Common Factors of Marriage Theories.
Vanover, B. (2016). Important Factors in Marital Success and Satisfaction: Marriage Counselors’ Perspectives.
