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English

ENG 101: Peer Response for Career Comparison-Contrast Research Reports

Writer: Aloe Brady

Peer Reader: _______________________________

Title of the essay: Elementary Versus High School Teaching

Career(s) or career options being compared and/or contrasted:

Elementary Teaching is being compared to High School Teaching

Does the introduction get the readers' attention and preview the organization of what will follow in the body of the essay? If not, what can the writer do to improve the introduction?

The writer has introduced his topic very well. He has started with a general view of the topic and then moved to the specific details. The beginning very systematically leads towards the body and other details of the essay.

Did you find the following information?

_________why the writer wants to be a ______

The writer wants to be a Kindergarten teacher because he loves the creative minds of young children. He says that he prefers working with the young age group as their minds can be changed by the world.

_________what people in that job or career do (Is the description specific and in-depth?)

The writer has explained the jobs and responsibilities of Kindergarten teachers in detail. He states that the teachers are working in that career work very hard. They spend a long time in lesson planning and have to teach the same lesson to different groups of students every day. Their schedule for breaks and duties is quite different from high school teachers.

_________what the work conditions are (where, when, and how will you work)

The elementary school teachers will work in elementary schools. Their lesson planning takes a lot of time, but they have to spend very less time pointing out and correcting the mistakes of the kids. Along with academics, they also need to supervise the children during their non-core classes such as art, physical education, and music. They also need to specialize in more than one subject as they cannot teach only one subject to their class like the secondary teachers.

_________what the writer must do to become a ________ and how he or she will gain experience?

The writer must have a four year or Bachelor's degree to become a classroom teacher. For gaining experience, a person should apply and work in a daycare center, being involved in tutoring, coaching, substituting, or summer school teaching.

_________what the rewards are (money or otherwise), including the starting salary range and average salaries for experienced workers in the career?

The writer calls teaching a reward less profession because they do not get enough in return for what they are doing. The average starting salary of a fresh elementary teacher is $36,019, and an experienced one gets $57,980 in the United States.

_________what unpleasant things these workers have to put up with?

The workers have to go through many unpleasant things during their careers, such as working extra hours without being paid. They have to spend nights working on the lesson planning for the kids, and they even have to spend money on the classroom supplies from their own pocket sometimes.

_________what the job prospects are when the writer will graduate and where those prospective jobs are best found

The writer will get a degree in Early Childhood Education, and his job prospects will be working in elementary schools teaching kindergarten children. Those job prospects are best found in the field of teaching.

_________anything else of interest about that job or career (list here):

The interesting thing mentioned about this job by the writer is that the teacher gets involved with the young and creative minds of the kids.

_________the writer’s plan for becoming a ___________

The writer has a plan to become a kindergarten two teacher after completing his degree.

Has the writer slipped into the vague second person (undefined you) anywhere?

The writer has used the first and third person in the essay, and he has not slipped into the use of vague second person pronoun anywhere.

Does the writer conclude the report smoothly, or does it just stop? If necessary, how might the writer improve the conclusion?

The writer was unable to end his essay in a smooth and systematic way. The essay ended directly on his career opportunities. He should have given a general view about the elementary and high school education, which would have summarized the whole essay, and then his plans would have followed that.

Do the sentences and paragraphs of the essay flow smoothly together? If not, where are the rough transitions or organizational problems? Is there variety in the sentence structures used?

The essay contains smooth and connected sentences. There are no organizational problems in the essay, and no rough transitions are used. Although there is a variety of sentence structures present in the essay, the writer has used words in some sentences repeatedly.

Are the parenthetical citations and works cited entries correctly done? Are any citations missing?

The parenthetical citations are used correctly, and there is no missing citation in the essay.

Is the report properly formatted in MLA format? If not, what does the writer need to fix?

The document is correctly formatted according to the MLA format. The headings, paragraphs, citations, and references all are correct and in accordance with the required format.

What else does the writer need to work on as he or she revises, edits, and proofreads this report?

When the writer revises or edits his work, he only needs to replace the repeated words in some sentences, and the conclusion must be stated systematically and in connection to the body and beginning.