Journal

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May 31, 2019

Journal

Just the way I liked it

Holden finds the red hunting cap after losing fencing equipment for the team. In New York, his encounter will the hat convinced him to buy it and he used to wear it while wandering in the streets. The hat has significance in the story because it symbolizes hunting for phoney adult. The hat is used for transmitting the themes of confidence, comfort and self-esteem. The hat gives him the courage to tell Phoebe to keep her confidence and stay what she is. The hat symbolizes Holden's sense of uniqueness and security.

It just about killed me

I must not fear the world or what people think about me. The more important thing is to remain confident and live with dignity. There is no shame in accepting what we are even if the world disapproves. I will not change for others and I don’t consider my academic failure as a flaw. I don’t accept people’s suggestions because I believe in fighting. It is better for me to stay away from phonies who are creating troubles and are good for nothing.

Jane’s Kings

Holden cares a lot about Jane and likes the way she is. Holden adores the way Jane keeps kings in the backs rows because it connects him to his childhood. The relationship of Holden with Jane can be witnesses as a metaphor because it allows him to recall his memories in which was fascinated by kings. This reflects that Holden is unable to get rid of his past, His experiences are the product of his part’s influence on his present.

A.K.A

Holden builds aliases and fakes to other people. He pretended to be someone who he was not in reality. This reveals that Holden is a liar and his pretention becomes visible when he meets a woman on a train after leaving Pancey. The woman asked him his name but Holden used a fake name ‘Rudolph Schmidt’. This reflects that the boy was struggling to tell the truth so he learned to develop aliases.

Would you like to use your lifeline?

My friend Rachel is my lifeline and she is always there to help me. Several times I have tested her by asking for help and she never turned me down. She is my lifeline because she is always ready to provide me with what others are not willing to offer. I still remember when she gave me her pocket money when I had to buy a phone. She saved me many times at college by making an assignment. I think no one else will offer me such kindness and support.

Suitcases

Suitcases act as a metaphor in the fiction because relates them with people. He uses suitcases as a metaphor for explaining that people will judge each other in all situations and make comments about their appearances. He mentions about nuns having ‘cheap suitcases'. This reflects his disliking for the people belonging to the low strata. The cheap suitcases are used as a metaphor for referring to the people living low socio-economic lives.

The liar’s club

Characters like Holden are not reliable and at many points, he is not telling the complete truth. He can be witnessed as an unreliable narrator when he mentions, "I mean how do you know what you are going to do till you do it". This reflects the boy's inability to assess his own mind. The people who have impacted him badly cast doubts on his ability to make judgments. This indicates that it is difficult to believe in what he says.

The museum

The one place that allows Holden to feel happy and comfortable is the museum. He adores the ducks in the museum because they never leave and adds a sensation of pleasure. He also liked the people who have worked there. The museum creates a positive feeling and environment for him. The pretty dear and the Eskimo make him feel better. The museum is linked to the emotional state of the boy because it provides him with the opportunity to recall his childhood experiences.

Allie

Although Allie is not alive Holden still thinks about him. This reflects his love for his brother. The death of Allie leaves a saddened impression on the mind of Holden. The basketball glove symbolizes the love of Holden for his brother. The death of his brother had a negative impact on him and he considered himself responsible for Allie's death. He now judges everyone from Allie's perspective. Holden rejects the people who had lost their childhood innocence.

The patterns of your mind

When Holden is visiting with Carl Luce he tells him that his father can ‘reorganize the parents of his mind’. This means that Holden was undergoing psychological problems and he needed help. The statement means changing the thought patterns of the boy. One intention for Carl’s company was Holden’s loneliness but he also had other motives such as sharing his gay knowledge with him. He proposes to Carl that he is gay.

Allie’s funeral

Holden explains that he couldn’t attend the funeral of Allie because he was in the hospital. He was injured so it was not possible to attend the funeral. It was of significance because if Holden was there it would be difficult for him to control himself. Also, he wouldn't be able to forgive him. Not attending the funeral thus prevented him from emotional loss.

Mr Antolini

Holden's stay at Mr Antolini represents the most controversial scene. When Holden wakes up Antolini was panting his head and the boy thought that he was molesting him. It was disturbing for Holden as he experiences his deeply rooted anxiety related to his sexuality. The scene is controversial because it leads to the projection of homosexual desires. Holden thought that the behaviour of Mr Antolini towards him had a homosexual undertone.

I am Holden Caulfield

The characters in the novel are distinguishable. I like the character of Holden because he plays an interesting role of a young boy who wears a red hat for attaining his desires for freedom and self-expression. He is a protagonist who is intelligence but cynical. Jane is another character that appeals to me because he supports Holden and respects him irrespective of his flaws. The character of Antolini is interesting as he mentions, “I can very clearly see you dying nobly”. The character of Sally is also interesting with whom Holden dates for a long time.

Signs and symptoms

Holden is undergoing serious issues of depression that can lead to his self-destruction and demise. The childhood memories such as the death of his brother is also a reason for his manic depressed state. Instead of dealing with his depression he relies on substance and drinks a lot. The signs of depression are visible in his flawed judgments and delusional state. His lack of interest in normal things and feelings about sex also reflects signs of depression.

A terrible fall

Mr Antolini tells Holden that he sees him "riding from some kind of terrible fall". This reflects the mentally depressed state of Holden because he is acting like a maniac. He mentions this to show his concerns towards Holden who is frustrated with everything and hates everyone. He tells Holden that his concerns are useless but he fails to understand that. I think Holden should have listened to the advice of Antolini because he was troubled with his thoughts.

Disappointing

Holden mentions many times in the novel that he feels like he is disappearing. This reflects the disappointed state of the boy. I have also felt like I was disappearing when I was depressed due to the death of my beloved aunt. Her death made me feel depressed and I was unable to concentrate on anything. The disappointing state is apparent as Holden mentions, "if you want to know the truth the guy I like best in the Bible, next to Jesus was the lunatic".

On the wall

Fuck you on the wall makes Holden feel secure and comfortable. This reflects that in his world there is more place for vulgarities and everything is corrupted. This helps in understanding sexuality as a process of growing up. If I would see such words on the wall it would make me feel uncomfortable.

Carousel

Holden takes his sister for a ride on the carousel and the event has greater significance. I feel that the scene is important because it adds to the happiness of both of them. By experiencing such breakthrough I would have attained satisfaction.

Symbols

The red hat symbolizes self-expression and independence. It also represents a search for identity. the baseball cap symbolizes the loss of Allie, Holden’s brother.

Holden Caulfield: A rock

The lyrics of “I am a rock” and “sound of silence” are used to express Holden. The rock symbolized nobody stating that Holden is no one. The lyrics explain that Holden had isolated himself.