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Nature of Relationship, Interpersonal, Relational, Self-Presentation and Instrumental Goals prior to Conflict
The person with whom I experienced or experiencing conflict is my best friend, Annya, who lives in Taiwan. We have an enjoyable, interactive, and trustworthy relationship. There is no absolute distinction between before and after conflict because the disagreement between us is perpetual and ongoing. Annya is my long-distant friend, and we do not get the chance to meet often, last time I met Annya in 2014. However, regardless of all the distance, we fully indulge in the technological marvels of Facebook, FaceTime, and Instagram as well as video and voice calling. My interpersonal goals with Annya pivot the notion of interactivity and frequent communication in some aspects, we can be called each others human diaries. On the other hand, if asked about relational goals, Annya and I are mutually dependent individuals and best long-distant buddies. We religiously believe in the significance of mutual respect, integrity, trust, and support in our connectivity. The pure and supportive presence of Annya influenced my self-concept to a great extent. With Annya, depth and breadth of my self-disclosure are considerable, but throughout the many years of our friendship, I have unconsciously developed self-presentation of a person who is reserved, caring, intelligent, and efficient in executing multitasks. When it comes to instrumental goals, we both appreciate our values, but I am inclined toward the adaptability of change according to the ever-transforming contemporary environment. Contrarily, Annya adheres to conventional concepts. I assert that traditional values, patriotism, and meekness can be maintained along with embracing the change, but Annya holds entirely differing grounds in this context.
Conflict Stems and Interference in the Attainment of Objectives
It is mentioned that Annya and I have pole-opposite perceptions regarding the change the very divergence becomes the underlying reason for our repetitive conflicts. Through arguments, I want to achieve a specific objective, and that is convincing Annya to leave Taiwan and move to the USA. However, Annya recognizes the proposition as an unnecessary thrill and prefers to stay within the premises of her homeland. The irrational stubbornness of Annya pesters me because she is ultra-talented she is an ingenious artist and creates art by utilizing a myriad of unusual mediums effortlessly. I know that in Taiwan, Annya has skimmed thriving opportunities, and if she stays at one place all her life, it will be unfair with the artist within her. Nevertheless, regardless of all my endeavors, Annyas substantial perception regarding preserving the legacies, ethnicities, ancestors roots, and resistance to change are hindering all possible prospects.
Conflict Approaches In Pursuing the Conflict Effectiveness and Verbal and Non-Verbal Implications
Psychological mtier proffers several conflict approaches, including avoidance, accommodating, collaborating, compelling, and compromising. To be honest, I implemented almost all mentioned conflict approaches to change the mindset of Annya, but she is more stubborn than me, so finally, I opted for a compromise. In initial stages, I tried to convince Annya in a regular conversational style and hoped for a collaborative solution I talked to her in a slow-paced tone, with encouraging smiles on video calls (though I look terrible while smiling in front camera). After that, I took a firm stance and forwarded a heap of informational articles regarding successful life experiences and the advantages of living abroad. At this stage, I portrayed my eagerness through the bombardment of messages question marks in case of late replies frowning emojis etcetera. I affirmed that coming USA would alter her life pattern altogether, she will have both intrinsic and extrinsic incentive of such timely decision she said no even to the accommodating approach. I also tested avoiding approach, but that affected my interpersonal goals. Consequently, I hopped onto a comprising plan of conflict resolution. On the admittance of the comprising, I show a half-hearted approval, used fewer words and expressions in messaging, and carried a long face on the video call.
Phenomenally, conflict defensive messages are classified into four major categories that include aggressive, passive, assertive, and passive-assertive defenses. It was the previous year when Annya told me about an art teachers job offer she got from a neighborhood school the pay package was meager and was uncompetitive for the ultimate art skills of Annya. At this point, I momentarily felt a surge of aggressive defensiveness, but within a few moments, I realized the sweetness and esteem of our companionship, and in the wake of this consciousness, I used a somewhat softer approach, assertiveness. Through assertiveness I explained to Annya that if she will come abroad she could achieve her dreams, including broader learning horizons, a reasonable salary, and acknowledgement for her artistic skills and an insight of international cultural diversity.
I read somewhere that in a respectable connectivity both communicators have equal rights of presenting their arguments and such synchronization are the specification of assertiveness. I also calm down myself to listening to Annyas counterarguments she told me that she could not handle the language barrier conveniently. Moreover, she is the only child, and her parents need her presence. Annya also explicate that they do not have enough financial resources to pursue a family immigration. I tried to offer her monetary support but she refused and before further sizzle up I changed the topic. I think I did the right thing by implicating the assertiveness because Annyas perceptive are also valid and reasonable therefore, choosing the path of compassion and compromise was the most effective and delicate way to resolve the disagreements between friends and acquaintances.
Nonverbal Communication and Escalation and De-Escalation of Conflicts
Throughout interactive and interpersonal communication, several verbal and non-verbal gestures are employed sparsely, and such communicative devices, in turn, play a crucial part in developing perceptions. Some nonverbal gestures aggravate the perception of menace and cause conflict escalation. In many cases, communicators do not have any conscious intention of threatening the other person, but some nonverbal gesticulations make them perceive that the communicator wants to cause them harm. In short, nonverbal motions are primary dispositions in establishing perception precisely amidst conflicts. However, in the subject conflict of Annya and I, we were not face-to-face, but we talked several times on video calls, and to be honest, the recent technology has turned emojis into the replacement of facial and other nonverbal expressions. Throughout our discussion, I rolled my eyes countless times, but that did not escalate the conflict between Annya knows that I habitually roll my eyes on every unbelievable thing. We also reciprocated some sarcastic gestures by sending like emojis even on the most undesirable arguments. I think there is a gigantic difference between conflicts of foes and friends because you cannot internationally hurt or disrespect your best friends regardless of the severity of the issue at hand. In the last, the sad-faced emoji sent by Annya melted my heart, and I adhered to assertive and compromising demeanor. As a result, it can be contended that a respectful and controlled usage of nonverbal communication is beneficial in the de-escalation of conflicts.
Result of Conflict
From start to end, I infused all my endeavors to convince Annya to become agree on a mutual point. In due course, I evaluate different conflict approaches, including assertive, aggressive, passive, and passive-assertive however, initially, I aimed for aggressive behavior, but with Annya, I cannot afford to be rude, harsh, and disrespectful. Therefore, I abode by a gentler approach and tried to persuade Annya to decide to come abroad (USA). Subsequently, Annya relayed her concerns regarding her traditional perception and her perspective regarding a responsible and obedient daughter. I also came to know about the associated monetary issue in case of family immigration. After delivering all my suggestions and by considering all the concerns of Annya, I choose comprising and admit the way Annya wants it to be. Throughout our dispute, we did not use any offensive words and nonverbal signs that, in turn, eradicated all the possibilities of conflict escalation.
And yeah, I am satisfied with the conclusion of conflict because it did not harm my connectivity with Annya instead, we developed more understanding and cognizance about the issue. In this case, we both were on the right sides, and any tug of war would have snapped our relationship for no reason. Therefore, I recommend listening to underlying stances of all involved parties in the process of resolving a squabble otherwise, no one will be able to grasp the perception of others, which is indispensable for effective communication. It was my first considerable and elongated conflict, and that is why I was inexperienced enough to realize that I only proposed suggestions and perceived advantages and concentrated only on what and why, but in due course, I forgot to extract answers for how. I have started searching for and contacting different consultants and economic immigration plans to seek the solution of Annyas reflected concerns. So that when next time I will open the dispute, I will be fully prepared to argue about how.
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